Success of parenting depends on how successful children are in their adulthood. Parenting is the effort, and its result is successful children. Now a successful adult is one who can live and lead his or her life independently in terms of social and economics. The qualities of a successful person are independence, responsibility, caring, thoughtfulness and visionary.

family of four walking at the street
Good parenting – The Scorpion. Photo by Emma Bauso on

In developing countries where parents consider their efforts towards their children as an investment for future assurance of being taken care of do create self-conflicting and confused personalities in children. In such countries, parents spend their entire youth, adulthood until they reach their retirement age, only to raise and establish their children. In this process they completely forget and ignore their individual improvement, wishes and progress. Thus, creating themselves only as a provider of opportunities while back in their mind they nourish the thought that they will get back all those efforts when they grow old and become unable physically to live independently. In a simple word they spend their life only for their children, expecting their children will take care of them in old age.

The problem with such a trend is children, when they become adults and try to be independent, they feel extreme pressure from their parents to fulfill their wishes as a return of duties they had performed. Parents do remind their children constantly about the sacrifices they made for them. Emotionally the children start feeling that everything they have done and become only due to the favor of their parents, which was not free, but must be returned. So, some part of the effort and energy of the children is spent on their personal improvement and to fulfill their wishes and the rest is spent backwards for their parents. However, to live in a society and in family it is evitable that children do take care of their parents, but not as a payback of favor, but as a responsible independent member of the society.

an elderly couple embracing their son and daughter
Photo by RODNAE Productions on

If parents do teach their children about social values and love and responsibilities then they never have to worry and express their expectation to their children, it would come automatically. In such a way both parties can avoid a stress full mental situation and can coexist peacefully. If everyone does duties of their part then no-one needs to remind about others responsibilities and what to do and what not to do as someone did something for him. What is necessary is to feel gratitude and empathy for everyone around you. We are living in a society and without individual participation and contribution this social system will not function. Parents must know that whatever they are doing for their children isn’t a favor but a performance of duties.