Fundamentals of a Marriage

Marriage is a social agreement to live together. However it has its rules which we normally don’t think about but do practice in our daily life without notice in the case of a successful relationship. Sometimes a troubled relationship needs to look into the book to resolve any dispute either in positive way or  negative way. The benefit goes to the members of the family under scrutiny.

Foundation of a married relationship stands on some pillars…

1) Caring: Physically & mentally

2) Sharing: Events, experience, encounters, goods, bads

3) Dependency: Fulfill each others need exclusively

4) Transparency: No hide & seek, speaking out minds

5) Trust: Practice it, develop it through behavior and actions, No blind faith, demonstration through actions

6) Loyalty: Prove it constantly

There could be many more, but for now these are the most important points to look at. Those above mentioned points needs to be demonstrated on daily basis to maintain and live a successful married life.

Humans are naturally social animal, they do like to live together in a social setup. While staying close to each other specially in a married relationship, caring is obvious. It happens exactly in the same way we do care our friends.

The social instinct of ours compel us to share, without it there’s actually nothing else that makes us social. We stay in a group, we care, we share our opinions, share our efforts, assets, help and many other things. Sharing is important.

Dependency is the most important of all the points mentioned above. We are social because we can not survive without others help. In a married relationship the basic dependency is mental and physical. Partners must be dependent on each other for their mental and physical needs, any violation of this rule makes the marriage void. However, in some society and culture, some people do practice little different life style but that is actually a taboo. So people who are not following this rule are actually hiding the fact and pretend to follow the norms. Temporary economic dependency is also a dimension of this relationship.

In a married relationship transparency is vital. When you are in a relationship, you should not do anything that you can not disclose to your partner, secondly, hiding your sins completely only to keep the relationship intact is the best way to be happy. Partial truth is equal to telling a lie. You must speak what you do and you did. It builds the trust. It should happen naturally. No force should be applied or no one needs to ask a question but the answer should be there spontaneously.

Trust is a very fragile perception. It needs to be built over time and must be maintained through behavior. We meet people in daily life on street, shops, office, but the question of trusting them is illogical. In a married relationship, partners must trust each other, one must believe what the other says or claims but not without supporting behavioral pattern. Our actions must induce trust in others mind.

Respect your partner for being your partner and value it is what loyalty can be defined in a married relationship. You have to listen to your partner, what he or she wants. Sometimes you have to just obey him/her without a question, just to make him/her happy. When you do that you can expect the same in return because you earned it. It is like give and take policy.

Marriage is like two person walking on the same path towards the same destination. Growth in number of the members is obvious by having children. Taking those children along with you and walking the same path is marriage. Sometimes, it happens that a partner does mistakes, in such a case, it is the responsibility of the other to correct him/her and bring him back to track for the welfare of the family. However magnitude of the mistake can have the extreme most results, even a complete breakdown of a family. When two person make a family, their behavior must be directed by their responsibility towards their family they made. They have to sacrifice some of their fantasy, wishes, dreams etc. The animal instinct do flow underneath our skin, but using it and directing it towards the betterment of the family and its members is called being social. Two individuals combine and make a family. Family grow with children. When two and more family interact in a restricted environment, it makes a society.

Be social, respect your family and its members, care them, love them, feel the need of them in your life can make you a better human, who will definitely contribute towards making a better society.

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